Searching for the Edges of the Internet – Fear upon the Final Frontier of the Weird

Tell me the internet is not the greatest invention of the last 50 years. It has opened   channels of communication enabling us to exchange vast quantities of information to pretty much anywhere in the world nigh instantaneously. 50 years ago such feats were the stuff of science fiction. As a tool it can be used to educate and empower the masses, a tool that can shape societies and develop mankind. Today the internet represents as complete a reflection of the human consciousness that has ever been amassed.  

It is also home to nearly an infinite amount of porn, a fact I can attest to, there really is no need to watch the same porn twice. Do not under estimate the value of pornography in deciding the success of media. It was the porn industry that backed VHS beating off their rival Sony’s Beta Max. A similar stand off occurred with Blu-Ray and HD-DVD, although this time there came a less decisive climax, as the porn industry were just happy to keep pumping their wares and stretching the bandwidth, through the easy to access channels of the wanton and accommodating internet.

Ever since I have been able to lock my door and have access to the internet I have I have been involved in rigorous research, looking for the edges of decency and fondling mankind’s perverse creations with out stretched, needful arms. I have seen much in this life time and I am about to pass on the fruits of this research to you.

 shayesaintjohn.net

The complex person that is Shaye Saint John.

This site is just plain weird. It is more than just a website, it is a fictitious internet person. Complete with a back story the disturbing Shaye has her own website, Facebook page and numerous YouTube clips. As far as I can tell there is no more purpose to Shaye’s existence as there is to our own, it’s simply mindlessly weird and there is lots of it.

Weird rating 10/10

Here’s a link to one of her YouTube videos http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUxjG4VBTag

 http://www.boohbah.tv/zone.html

It is believed by some that Boohbah TV is home to the soul of Nicholas Cage.

Do you miss the days when we used to do LSD and stare at our hands for hours? If so boohbah.tv will have you experiencing acid flash backs. A hallucinogenic, psychedelic, meaningless mishmash of colours and sounds that you can manipulate. There is no score to get and nothing to be achieved. Like the internet it is just a waste of time, but it pretends to be nothing else.

It’s weird, but it’s no Shaye: 8.5/10 

http://zoomquilt.org/

You fall into a piece of collaborative art created by Salvador Dali and Hieronymus Bosch. That’s it, really. After a few minutes it starts to repeat itself, but they’re a good few minutes none the less.

Short lived weird value 5/10

 http://www.fearthegaychicken.org/

In the same style as Zoomquilt, it is hyper repetitive, for a while this is what makes it so brilliant. It’s madness and I dare you not to laugh, I would however be very afraid if you were entertained for an evening by it. What adds to the weirdness is that once you go beyond the introduction they try selling you shirts and clocks.

A short lived buzz of disturbing and weird 7/10

http://www.puppetryofthepenis.com/

I just don’t want to know. It’s wrong, it’s so wrong. Do we really live in such a world? Say it aint so.

To be honest I just feel too uncomfortable to get beyond the home page. From what little research I have been willing to do, I am led to believe it is a comedy act from western Australia, which makes sense as I was recommended it by an individual of that area. An excerpt from their website offers this insight and frankly that’s enough.

Puppetry of the Penis was born when Simon Morley teamed up with fellow puppeteer David “Friendy” Friend. Their first show at the 1998 Melbourne International Comedy Festival was received as the “Outright Best Show”.

For those of you who need to know more look at their website or their are plenty of videos on YouTube.

Weird rating: N/A There’s no way I’m going to watch this.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbuluDBHpfQ

This YouTube clip is only three minutes long, when it finishes the frustration is immense . When I die I want to be watching this, I have no idea what it is but I don’t think that is what is important.

I can’t decide whether it insults people that use crutches, or if it raises crutch awareness.

Maybe the weirdest thing on YouTube: 9.5/10

http://larrycarlson.com/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPSb_d1I2AI

Congratulations for making it this far, Larry Carlson is perhaps best described as a surreal, psychedelic artist. He has quite a collection on YouTube and his website shows plenty of his work. Whilst his work might be, let’s say trippy at best, it is not weird because you get the impression that he has a purpose to what he does, thus completely undermining its weirdness.

We end with a weirdness rating: 1/10

The Cloven States of America

  Introducing The Great United Democratic Republic of My Pants

You have to be careful not to take the names of countries at face value. Take The Peoples Republic of China. It requires a ballsy marketing executive to slip ‘republic’ into that title. Indeed China seems to pay scant regard to the ideals of republicanism as first laid out by Aristotle and then Plato. Perhaps my favourite is Great Britain, this does not require a ballsy marketing executive, as much as one who is suffering from a chronic mental illness. Only boxers and wrestlers name themselves things like Great, Marvelous, but that is what Britain has become symbolically, an over weight middle aged man in a Lycra leotard, both unappealing to look at, and even more unpleasant to be around.

Always be wary of countries that contain united in their name, for it is almost a certainty that they are not. In the same way that China is not a republic, and Britain is not great; America is not united. Is it even reasonable to expect a country of over 300 million people of every race and creed to live in harmony? If the recent events in Ferguson, Missouri are anything to go by then the answer is a resounding no.

The Ferguson riots have understandably generated much debate as to what lays at the heart of the problems. Personally I thought it was the brutal execution of an unarmed African American teenager by a policeman, after watching the news however, I realized my initial deduction to be too simplistic. Rather than apportion all the blame on one red neck, trigger happy cop, who probably only became a policeman after finding shelf stacking at Walmart to be too stressful. The riots have become the inspiration for national reflection. Topics up for discussion have included the militarization of the police, the appropriateness of the 2nd amendment and of course race.

Militarization of the police and the 2nd amendment have a causal, symbiotic relationship. The 2nd amendment gives citizens the right to arm themselves, this in turn necessitates the police to arm themselves. Citizens see the police are armed and get nervous, they run down to their local gun shop for more firepower. The police become concerned when helping an old woman across the road she pulls out an AK47. 9/11 has been the scapegoat for the reason of police militarization, but the reality is that there has effectively been an arms race between U.S citizens and U.S law enforcement. And anyway neither of these were the main causes of the Ferguson Riots.

The cause of the riots is racial tension fueled by extreme disparity in the distribution of wealth. The demographics of Ferguson Ferguson shows that it has a population of 21,000 people, 67% black and 30% white. 20 years ago these figures were reversed however the Ferguson Police force and Government haves remained almost exclusively white.

Some Economic Statistics for Ferguson

1. 25% of blacks in the Ferguson area live below the poverty line, compared to 11% of whites (the first time I saw this I was shocked at that many white people struggling).
2. The average income for black people is 60% of what it is for white people $32,000 compared to $53,000.
3. Unemployment for black people in the Ferguson area is 20% (double the national average) compared to 6.7% for white people.

House ownership is the main means that an American can accrue wealth, the diagram below shows the disparity between blacks and whites.

Housing often represents an Americans’ greatest asset and a major component of their overall wealth. This graphic shows an enormous racial disparity.

This money then gets fed down via inheritances, making whites ever wealthier and blacks ever more resentful. In his speech on 18 August 2014 President Obama identified that disparities of this nature between ethnic groups will inevitably lead to tensions.

As with the aftermath of the Rodney King beating and subsequent riots, America sits uncomfortably on a knife edge. And I believe the economic disparities between white and blacks is a problem, I’m still left asking myself, wasn’t this just caused by one dumb, poorly trained, ignorant cop? Is it right to go tearing up a town because of the idiocy of one man?

I simply don’t know. Once again Uncle Sam has pitched me a curve ball. striking me out and leaving me with nothing to do but scratch my crotch.

The best way of pondering this situation.